A rundown of what my break from writing has revealed about myself

So this summer has already been one hell of a roller coaster of issues and circumstances. For example, being financially wounded in the summer is not fun, but life goes on. I have typed many paragraphs about the struggles I’ve dealt with, and each time, it makes me sound privileged and ungrateful. I understand how fortunate I am to be in the situation I am in, but I am not here to complain.

Many things have almost put me in a state of overwhelmed paralysis. I say “almost” lightly. There were just so many things to do, that I couldn’t figure out what to do, hence the overwhelmed paralysis.

However, one thing that I have finally decided to come to terms with is my body image issues. Since high school, I’ve had body dysmorphia. It’s been a big issue with my self esteem and self worth. I’ve lost weight before, so all I’ve been thinking about is losing it again. I’ve been thinking I’m ugly and unworthy of wearing nice clothes that fit my body. I wanted to stay the same weight I was before I had a child, but obviously, bodies don’t work that way. However, dealing with my stomach issues this summer has made me look into finally accepting my body for as it is. I could lose the weight and theoretically like my body, or stop obsessing over my weight and accept my body for how it is. I’m still in a journey.

I am currently trying to exit from my overwhelmed paralysis and helplessness that I feel. My routine has been perpetrated and inconsistent. Getting back to it is something my mind and body craves. Such as:

1. Getting to sleep at a decent time and waking up early
2. Drinking enough water
3. Picking something to do in the house every day
4. Go for a walk or do some physical activity every day
5. Eat enough fiber
6. Plan dinner ideas
7. Find some time to relax and do an activity I enjoy

Another thing I’ve been trying to do as well is find a new hobby. I like writing of course, but sometimes doing something creative and out of the norm is a little more exciting. I used to like finding rocks and painting them different colors. I still do that sometimes. I may want to start painting or crocheting. Something I don’t have to be a perfectionist on. I think that would be fun.

It’s easy to get stuck in a state of paralysis when things are overwhelming, but you don’t have to do everything at once.

This was a short post, but I hope it helps. I’ll get back to finishing my post about therapy tips in a few weeks or so. In the meantime, here’s a song that helped me when I initially was trying to accept myself.